Welcome to the paternity leave edition of Limping Gibby. As I spend time this week letting the little bag of beans sleep on my chest while trying not to neglect the other 3 little men in my life I am thankful for good television this weekend. I am excited about, and have (I think successfully) gotten my kids excited about watching the 3 point shootout and slam dunk contest tonight.
If I were to be honest, my excitement stems as much from nostalgia as it does from watching players even I, as a more than casual NBA fan, know nothing about try their hands at the dunk contest. Some of the best moments in NBA history have happened on the Saturday night of All-Star Weekend. Let’s try an experiment - think back in your memory database about the NBA All-Star Weekend. I would be willing to bet that you have 5 Saturday night memories for every one actual All-Star Game memory. Jordan from the free-throw line, Bird winning the 3 point shootout without even taking off his warm-up, Dominique Wilkins earning his nickname “The Human Highlight Reel”, Ced Ceballos’ blindfold, Dee Brown with the single greatest non-commercial sports marketing moment of all time, Dwight Howard’s cape.
I am one of the few people remaining, even among NBA fans, who will go out his way to watch the festivities tonight. The event has lost a bit of its glitz. But let’s ask the question, “What if…?” There are certain events in sports that we would label “must see.” There are the big ones – World Series, Opening Ceremony, Super Bowl, etc. Then there are the unscheduled ones – McGwire vs. Sosa, Adrian Peterson chasing Eric Dickerson, etc. Every once in a while a matchup becomes must see – Lochte vs. Phelps, some Brady/Manning regular season contests were epic. I am going to propose the most must see non-championship sporting event of the year – the 2013 Slam Dunk Contest. Imagine the hype for this showdown (and I don’t think I am asking for the moon here, this is very doable), sticking with the current format of 3 players from the East and 3 from the West.
East:
Lebron James – Miami Heat. The best player on the planet, maybe even the history of the planet. One thing Jordan has that Lebron never will – a slam dunk contest title (1987, 1988).
Nate Robinson – Chicago Bulls. It is a shame that this guy has 3 slam dunk contest titles (’06, ’09, ’10), but this should gain him entry into this (shouldn’t be but is) fictional event.
James “Flight” White – As Brent Barry (’96 champ) showed us, a little bit of white can do a dunk contest good. As a caucasian dunk enthusiast, we take what we can get. Anyone who has pulled off a between the legs from the free throw line dunk is in (clip below, fast forward to 4:45)
West:
Blake Griffin – Los Angeles Clippers. Need I say more?
DeAndre Jordan – Los Angeles Clippers. Think nastiness just short of Griffin, in a 7 foot frame. He is the definition of "above the rim".
Dwight Howard – Los Angeles Lakers. The best champ in recent dunk history. It would be a chance for us to see how his back really is doing. It would be a chance for Superman to add something positive to an otherwise nightmarish season. It would be a chance for him to show off his winning smile in a context other than on the court being spanked by 25 by their across-the-hallway rivals.
Actually, now that I look at this list and think about the possibilities I am shocked that ESPN has not made this happen. Maybe it because the contest will air on TNT, but I can’t believe ESPN hasn’t hijacked the contest, put it on their networks, set this lineup, and unleashed a media frenzy the likes of which we haven’t seen since Michael Jordan turned 50 (oh wait…). King James vs. Superman vs. the 3x champ vs. Mr. Lob City A vs. Mr. Lob City B vs. the guy whose career is built around dunk contests yet still has the surname White. I would be more excited about this aerial display than Harbaugh vs. Harbaugh, Lochte vs. Phelps, Nadal vs. Federer.
As my what-could-have-been excitement builds for a fictitious event I going to pretend this is possible. Here is how Vegas might see it.
Griffin – 3-1
White – 3-1
Jordan – 4-1
James – 4-1
Robinson – 5-1
Howard – 6-1
I am thinking of ways to make it happen. I have a few:
- Get ESPN involved.
- Fans vote for the participants. Let the superstars say no to the fans and then let’s see the backlash. With the current hoopla about King James vs. His Airness it would only take one reporter challenging Lebron by mentioning that Michael has 2 dunk titles and Lebron has never even tried (Kobe also has 1).
- Get the shoe guys involved. The dunk contest is the greatest thing ever to happen to Nike Air Jordans and Reebok Pumps
The agents and the GM’s will fight against this happening. They shouldn’t. They will say that it is too risky for an event that doesn’t matter. To that I would respond with 1) when has anyone ever gotten hurt in a dunk contest? and 2) sports don’t matter, if we really think about it, except for their entertainment value. And what could possibly be more entertaining than this?
Speaking of entertainment, here are some embeds to whet your appetite.
