Monday, April 6, 2015

Qatar - FIFA's High School Girlfriend

FIFA just announced that the 2022 World Cup in Qatar will hold the final on December 18th.

Remember when you were in high school and one of your best friends (FIFA) started dating that girl that you hated (Qatar).  It wasn’t just you that hated her, all of your friends couldn’t stand her either.  Everyone knew it was a bad idea (Human rights abuses, a country that doesn’t serve alcohol, 120 degree summer temps, a national population that would triple during the tournament, a country that has no need for 8 world class soccer stadiums, a team which, if it received the customary automatic bid for the host team would be slaughtered in the first round).  Behind your friend’s back you would all talk about how his girlfriend was making him become someone that nobody (except her) really liked.  Of course, your friend wouldn’t hear any of it - he was smitten (we had a different word for it in high school).  His vision was clouded by his physical relationship with her (corruption?  money?  there has to be something).  He didn’t mind the fact that she treated him like garbage and didn’t let him hang out with his guy friends anymore - he just liked kissing her.  

We all hated that girl.  Maybe your friend broke up with that girl, and after the fact you would all sit around and that friend would say things like, “man, she was such a wench, why didn’t you guys talk some sense into me?” (an unlikely outcome in our World Cup analogy)  Or maybe she got pregnant (changing the tournament to November - December).  And maybe your friend married the hussy because of the baby (Qatar actually hosting the World Cup in 2022).  And you went to the wedding, silently disapproving, because you really like your friend (man, I love the World Cup).  And its possible that they remain happily married to this day (a possible outcome, because the World Cup is that good).  It’s more likely that they divorced 6 months later when they realized they hated each other and their marriage wasn’t just ruining their lives but the baby’s life and their families’ as well (the whole world having to take a 2 month break right in the middle of their seasons, a World Cup final 7 days before Christmas, English football fans reminding middle eastern Muslims why they chose to not drink alcohol in the first place, the world’s biggest party being held in a place no one really wants to go to party).  

It’s a bad idea FIFA.  But now you’ve gotten her pregnant.  Two wrongs don’t make a right.  It’s not too late to change your mind.  We won’t judge you.  In fact, we will respect you even more if you make the right decision now, when its not the easy thing to do.

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